We all use it every day of our lives. We can’t help it, being the social creatures that we are.
You also use it to communicate with yourself.
Yes, you talk to yourself. Maybe not out loud, but you do. (I do it too!)
It’s what we do when we think, have ideas, carry on private conversations and even laugh at those conversations. (Yes, I do that as well – all of it, even the laughing part)
I’m not here to shed light on the fact that we all talk to ourselves, I’m here to ask you this:
Do you know what you are telling yourself?
This is a BIG question that took me months of writing daily Morning Pages to be able to filter through all the lame repetitive thoughts, sifting through the junk, to finally be able to actually hear what I was saying to myself.
I was shocked!
I realized I was the meanest, most ruthless person to myself that I knew. It was there in that moment that I realized that people who are abused are always harder on themselves than their abuser is. When the abuser crosses the line of being crueler to them than they are to themselves, that’s when the abused will no longer tolerate it.
I knew that if I wanted to improve my life, I need to start by being kinder to myself first. As I did that, my personal tolerance bar would start to rise and my life would start to become more positive.
And you know what? It worked!
Like a big fat honkin’ miracle, it worked!
In the past 6 years my life has changed dramatically. I’ve made big drastic changes like getting out of a marriage that was toxic, started eating and becoming truly healthy, left the corporate world, became an entrepreneur and married the man of my dreams.
All of this because I started to hear my own misery and decided to no longer be the victim of my own thoughts.
Since that moment, I’ve continued to create positive ways to frame things to myself. I’ll be honest, sometimes it takes a little bit for the change to happen, especially bigger changes. I’ve found that making small changes first helps me to compound it all together and gets me ready for the big changes, which allows them to happen faster.
One of the things I do is to change the way I word things I “have” to do in my business.
For example: Writing a blog post.
Now, some may find writing blog posts to be a drudgery and others may love every minute of it. (It’s therapy for some) For me, it’s a mixture, but most days I don’t feel I have much to say and who would want to listen to me anyways? When I start to think of them that way, I get overwhelmed, create stall tactics – did someone say squirrel? – and lose interest.
In order for me to be able to make a positive impact in others lives through writing, I have to…write!
Big surprise there…
So, I started creating habits around writing so that I get excited to do it. The habits get my mind prepped to write and when I start to get discouraged, I use this habit hack to get myself excited about writing. I ask myself these questions:
What can I share with my audience that will bring value into their lives?
Who can I breath life into today?
How can I help others grow the same way I have?
The most powerful habit hack for me is the question about sharing. It touches and twists my heart every time. Who am I not to share my value with others? I slap myself around for a minute with tough love and instead of telling myself that writing as a chore, I tell myself that writing is an opportunity to share what I know with others.
I love sharing.
Sharing works for me.
Sharing gets me excited to wake up in the morning and start my routine. Why? So I can share!
Sharing creates the feeling of abundance for me. Abundance is good!
It’s a positive change I know I can make just by changing the words I use.
I’ve learned to start watching my mouth. What we think becomes reality. 😉
What negative self talk could you change into positive self talk to help you get closer to your goals? Tell me in the comments below!