How To Date Yourself (Even If You Are Married)

By July 17, 2014 August 5th, 2015 No Comments

Hey Sugarplum!

Going on a date can be the thing that has kept you going all week or it can be dreaded chore that can’t get over fast enough. It all just depends on your perspective and who you are going with.

One thing is for sure, is that whoever you pick to spend your time with, you will always have 1 person who will always be with you to your dying day. That person is you.

If you don’t like being with yourself, then how do you expect anyone else to?

There is something to be had in spending quality time with yourself. The #1 thing is the freedom to do and go where you want to. It opens up a world of possibilities and you don’t have to worry about if the other person is having a good time and keeping them entertained. It’s a much needed, soul easing peace, even if you can only break away from your everyday life (did someone say kid?) just for an hour.

This can also be classified as “me time”.

Something I love, love, LOVE doing is taking myself on a date.

It can be anywhere that I want it to be. Somewhere like the movies, the craft store, the library, a park… you name it! If it’s somewhere I want to go that lights me up and feeds my soul, I’m there.

Thing is, my husband doesn’t necessarily like going to the craft store and we don’t always want to see the same movies. And that’s okay.

Something that Julia Cameron introduced me to in her book, The Artist’s Way, was taking myself on an Artist date.

It’s all about spending 1 hour per week and take yourself somewhere you want to go that inspires you and will feed your creativity.

I’ve been hooked on them ever since and like to take it a step further and date myself in all kinds of different ways. Whether it’s a writing date or just a normal date-date that you would normally go on with someone else.

The thing I’ve discovered is that by taking myself to special places I enjoy it gives me time to hear my own thoughts and simply enjoy it. I don’t have to worry about chasing little ones around (having my brain in mommy mode and only half paying attention to my surroundings) or if the other person is enjoying themselves or not. I come back to my normal life a happier, more relaxed person.

This happier, more relaxed state is important for both you and the people around you. When you are genuinely happier because you’ve given yourself that precious time alone, it creates a loving space that you will enjoy and so others.

This genuine happiness does two things.

  1. If you are single: It attracts others to you (even maybe your ideal person) because they want to be around a happy person just as much as you do. If you are taken: Your significant other will notice. It helps both of you to find more joy in your relationship together, making both of your lives more enjoyable.
  2. The world around you starts to shift for the better and may even become a bit more enchanted or magical. (Okay, magical, may be stretching it a bit, but your childlike curiosity will start to wake up a bit)

So, you want to know how to go about dating yourself?

If you’ve been on a date or two in your life, you already know the basics, but I’ll explain them just in case you’ve been out of the game for a while. (Marriage will do that to you, you know. 😉 )

1. Schedule a time and stick to it! This needs to be for at least 1 hour, once a week. It can be during your lunch break at work or during your little one’s nap time on Saturday. If you don’t have family obligations, this will be a bit easier process for you. It’s up to you to make this happen, regardless of what your life situation is. Where there is a will, there is a way. No excuses.

2. Find a place YOU want to go. This is all about you, honey. Pick a place that makes your heart sing. Here are some examples incase you need a little inspiration:

  • Coffee shop
  • Book store
  • Local park
  • A lake, river, ocean or some type of water
  • The craft or fabric store
  • Hiking
  • The movies
  • That cute little café you’ve been wanting to try
  • Antique store
  • The possibilities are endless!

This is different than girls night too. Meeting up with your girlfriends, is not an option. This is a solo thing. It’s only for an hour. You can do it.

You weekly grocery shopping trip without the kids is not an option either. This is a responsibility free time.

If going somewhere alone scares you, start by going somewhere you know is safe and you would comfortable going.

3. Disconnect. Turn off your phone, computer, tablet, any other electronic device that you have hiding in your purse and enjoy the crap out of your experience.

Go ahead and try it!

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