The last few days I’ve been experiencing something new around anger.
Over the weekend I was triggered in a couple ways.
Now, I’m not normally triggered and overall pretty chill, but what was presented to me really rattled me and stirred up the feelings of anger.
Before I experienced the Pandora’s Box opening and releasing during a BioField Tuning session, whenever I would feel this stir of anger, I would sense that it was there, not express it, and stuff it back down into the box.
Well, this time there was no box to stuff it back down into.
So, this time I had to face it.
Move it out.
There was this whole huge process the anger took me through.
It showed me where something felt off and misaligned. Wrong in a sense. Or at least wrong to me personally.
It brought up fears and insecurities that were lying underneath it. It had me examine where I may have a tendency to minimize myself to avoid conflict. It showed me where my weaknesses were in relation to that trigger.
As I went through the experience of an entire anger wave, I did various things to help myself work through it, including listening to angry music while punching the punching bag.
Once I was able to calm and center myself after exhausting myself, I was then moved into a space where I felt comfortable talking through it. My husband Lee sat down with me, listened to me, let my anger rise up again without being afraid of it or trying to squash or minimize it, held the space for me to fully express it through my voice, and as I voiced it and felt fully seen and heard through the process, I felt it move up and out of my body.
I felt the anger go through a full wave and release itself.
No longer being harbored.
It felt liberating.
It felt empowering.
It felt healthy.
I finally felt what healthy anger really feels like as a whole entire cycle from beginning to end.
As much as the trigger sucked, I’m grateful for it so that I could experience and gain this new level of understanding emotions. To feel what it feels like to have a healthy wave of anger, and to feel the push behind the anger to make the productive change it was asking for.
I feel like a better person because of it.